If the key to my heart, or my happiness, is locked in your heart, or more specifically, my partner’s heart, then it must mean that somehow I have to find the key to your heart if I want my own heart’s key. I’ve wondered if looking for the key to your heart could be linked up with the whole idea of differentiation and otherness in relationship? I’m not sure if that’s what Bapuji meant but I have had some thoughts about it this way… I’ve been thinking lately about how this might give me some inspiration and guidance for my couple’s work. The Key to My Heart is Locked in Your Heart? I couldn’t have done with out being the recipient myself of this kind of loving. I know that’s true because the degree of intimacy and friendship I have with so many people astounds me not to mention the deep inner work I have been able to do on myself. But all in all, I think experimenting with and practicing unconditional loving over many years had a great impact on creating an environment where we all felt a level of acceptance that was very conducive to inner growth. I often got stuck in a mothering role where I put the needs of my peers, my guru, or my students over my own… and I eventually burned out. How it translated was that sometimes I became a flaming caretaker and co dependent: too concerned with the welfare of “the group”, and not concerned enough with my own needs. It was our number one practice, the value that imbued our lives and the life of our community. It was his way of saying, “love each other, be compassionate, and practice LOVING. It was Bapuji’s encouragement to value each other’s growth and well being, as much as we valued our own. I think this was an important principle for us in community as we learned to love each other as teammates, work partners, brothers and sisters, and as we grew up and eventually married and began raising families. Swami Kripalu (we called him Bapuji, dear father) who was one of the preceptors on this path, once said to us, “The key to your heart is locked in the heart of the other”. To Transformation, Healing, And Re Claiming Our Original Nature Of Non Separation, Or Unity Consciousness? Just as yoga and meditation create powerful insight into the nature of who we really are underneath the movement of thought so the practice of consciously connecting and disconnecting with each other supports the knowledge and experience of our underlying unity with all things. The spiritual work of relationship is to re discover our natural rhythm with each other and our entire universe. In our fear we create a problem within our relationships about too much connection, or too little or not enough space (disconnection) or too much. We become frightened by the constant flux, or by the discomfort we may experience in either polarity. But, we don’t understand that it’s supposed to be like this. We connect with each other, and then we disconnect. I think what is intended for us, is that we learn to experience and tolerate the natural flow between the experience of connection and contact and the experience of disconnection and separation.Īs humans we naturally pulse with our own biological, personal, social, and cultural rhythms just as all the waves and particles of the universe pulse with a natural rhythm. What is also true is that this natural pulsating flow of waves and particles can be experienced as connection with each other as well as dis-connection. Not something to be created it’s a natural, pulsating part of our being. The energy that we are is already pulsating inside us, around us, and between us. My perspective is that we are in a state of connection to the whole universe. If the spiritual journey is about awakening to our already whole and connected true nature, then our relationships must be the arena, or the stage, upon which we practice our awakening. Relationship to One Another is a Microcosm of our Connection to the Universe Keynote Presentation by Kate Feldman, MSW, LCSW Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health May 1995 Second Annual Conference on Psychotherapy and Spirituality at Integrating The Path of Relationship With The Path of Yoga
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